I will admit that I was a bit nervous about the bath Chief Amachi prescribed for me. I wasn’t really sure what to do so I made a few phone calls and gathered some insight. It went well although my Locs will have to remain damp and wrapped away until the mission is fulfilled. I don’t know how to feel although I do have deep feelings of gratitude. I feel as though Im rendering a great service towards the betterment of my ancestral and future lineage. I was concerned for my life and the struggles I’ve endured as a child into adulthood.
Several hours before taking the dive, I spoke with my mother. I told her of my new spiritual project and she approved. Mom has always been supportive of my ventures but this one in particular fascinates her most. She offered some insight as to what happened to our family and the trauma which followed. Mom shared with me that her mother, my grandmother, was deeply in love with my grandfather, my mothers dad. Unfortunately, he did not love her back…ever. Grandmother was apparently obsessed with him! From stories told, he was finnnnnne!!!…with silky long black wavy hair because like the rest of the silky long black wavy haired Americans, that was the “Indian” in him. After getting our ancestry results back, we come to discover, that that long black wavy hair, came straight outta long black wavy UK to be exact. Needless to say, grandmother became desperate for his love. She was crazy in love and he was just not in to her. Grandmother decided to take matters into her own hands. She sought a local voudoun priestesses to keep him.
O-m-g……The spell worked…..She got her man…..He even married her…..gave her four children…..beat the living daylights out of her and to add insult to injury…….he sexually abused the children. Yes, you read that right, his own children. All of them. Grandmother fell in love with a sick man.
When the children reached certain ages, they began to speak and that man went to prison for a very long time. I met him once. I wasn’t impressed. All of my life, the families elder siblings struggled with substance abuse and series of abandonment as in you’d see them one day and the next thing you know, their gone for 20 years or more. I often pitied my mothers side but questioned the extremism of Christianity which seemed to redeem and enslave them all at the same time.
There were further abuses which followed when grandmother decided to find a new man after grandad was put away. Well it wasn’t that new man who decided to abuse these new children she bore; he left therefore she confided in the pastor whom she became quite found of. He persuaded her to allow him to penetrate her youngest girl, my aunt, to deflower her all in the name of Jesus. Imagine the psychological mind f—!
Now I’m sharing this with you not to encourage a pity party. Notice the tempo, Im trying to keep it steady. The point I am making here is not to rely on the impulse of anger, regret or deep sadness for something that cannot be reversed but to show that abuse was relevant then and it is relevant now and the moral of the story is—THEY/WE WERE/ARE NOT PROTECTED!!! All of what we once new prior to colonialism was stripped from our consciousness therefore leaving us open to generations of spiritual and physical attacks from Europeans and the subjects which were meant to protect.
I have a mouth piece. I’m going to speak it loud and clear. Our medicine is here and I am not selfish. Let’s heal our lineages by going back to nature. IIKDS, Ase. Night One.