Removal of the Layers, The Bath 2

After being edified today for not following the protocol to the T yesterday (beginners errors), I felt more comfortable with my techniques tonight. I believe that my execution was flawless. I need the spirits to hear me. I need them to hear the cry of the lineages and the voices which are still holding on to patterns from their eras and the DNA strands of insight today. I speak for them to release. I’m speaking to spirit guides for us all to release that which is done away so that we can look forward; a beautiful future awaits us.
Today’s reflection stems from a conversation I had with a Ghanaian man who just recently entered my life. Our cultural backgrounds are so different. He is suit and tie, and in my own eyes, I am Bohemia. His calm easy going attitude and demeanor surpasses his corporate appearance. If your reading this, no offense. I admire your professionalism. You wear it well.
Back to the reflection, a stable man of earth seeks a woman filled with unstable fire, bruised emotionally for so many years; maternal abandonment; children stripped by the world, left to pay the fines of unlawful illusions….no examples of true love only the bible belt wearing, dogmatic book holding, philosophical quasar nose diving, 13 cosmic gurus but can’t relate to humans, sue me, anything that has a hole in it but uses terms like energy they’re doing, masogenistic, woman bashing, boys club only, I need space and harmony penitentiary conditioned, only thinks deeps while under the influence of stupidity, money loving, TV watching, limp busquit young gentlemen turned metro, I just don’t know….I could go on and on but I do not want to bore you with the removal of these layers.
See, I come from a long line of abused women; women whose self esteem was nonexistent. The acceptance of pain was beat into their DNA to allow the abuse because they just had no other options at the time. Which brings us back to me and my allowance of mental abuse. I was stupid shy as a child but I had a mouth piece to tell my mother of any potential discerned foul play. Where did I get this mouth? Why did the abuse stop at me? Why? I marvel at my ability to escape sexual abuse but I found another kind of abuse. I am aware of my innate ability to attract reformed gangsta niggas and thugs turned gurus. Oh yes, they reign on YouTube, g+, spitting erotic poetry but they don’t live it. Some of you have no idea what these spirits can do. This last relationship situation I called myself being in took me to the edge. I gave in to the propaganda to support the black man even if he shitted on me because of course…..he’s a black king right?…..right??
Pardon my need to remove these layers, they are thick but they’re coming off tonight. I must do it so that the very thought of any form abuse will remain as archived data upon a cloud in the cyber world but not within me. I have no fear. Fear is not loyal so I don’t hang out with it much.
I have struggled to find the man of my dreams holding onto to that archived data….memories of pain, emotional unavailability, takers of resources, masculine inadequacy…memories of him to only be squandered of my ancestral inheritance. How could I possibly find the man of dreams in a state of injury? I release that pain, I release all thoughts which never belonged to me; I send them back to the originators, those ways and thoughts were never mines. The kind hearted Ghanaian man esteems only my higher self, but will I ever be ready? Will my light shine bright? Will I be renewed? Will the past linger? I’m scared on these lingering skins, they serve no purpose to this very moment. I choose freedom!!! I feel it down to my core. I’m actually happy inside and this time, it was because of my own effort. I’m laying it all out of the altar. Night two.

About Empress

Empress Shah Business Owner Entrepreneur Teacher/ Student Paleo Hebrew / Numerical Conceptual Teachings Youtuber - Youtube.com/elshahbey Song Writer/ Vocalist SoundCloud.com/e-shah (Hobby) Facebook, E.S. Mende Gifts: Diviner, Spiritual Liaison, Speaker, Born Philosopher, Songwriter, Singer, Touch Therapist (Massage/ Reiki/ Energy), Doula, Traveler...

2 Comments

  1. Do you meet the same type of men even if its at a different place or when doing a different routine?

    • No I don’t. When I travel, I may meet someone from the Caribbean or back east but the distance doesn’t help. My paradigm has shifted; I’m meeting Sistah and brothas from the mama continent.

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